36 Lessons in 36 Years

It’s my birthday, let’s chat

Today is my 36th birthday, and to celebrate, I decided to do a series on Instagram called 36 Lessons in 36 Days. Cute idea, right? Except somewhere along the way, this little birthday experiment also became a personal reminder that I very much still need my own advice.

Because in a funny way this series ended up reinforcing so many of the beliefs I talk about all the time: take action before you feel fully ready, stop waiting to see the whole staircase before taking the next step, and please, I mean please, let go of perfection. Especially the arbitrary deadlines you create, assign deep meaning to, and then use to pressure yourself unnecessarily.

It also reminded me how much I’ve actually learned over 36 years. Some lessons came from major life seasons that changed me deeply. Others came from the smaller shifts, habits, and perspective changes that have helped me live a better, fuller life.

Also, creating and editing reels 36 days in a row? Humbling… even with the support of my social media manager who is an editor extraordinaire. So no, I did not finish all 36 by today, my actual birthday. But I’m weirdly not mad about it. It feels like part of the lesson too.

1. Build leverage, not loyalty.

2. Time is your most valuable resource. Start treating it like the asset it is.

3. If you want to be in the room, pull up your own chair.

4. Not doing it all is the badge of honor to strive for.

5. Freedom isn’t given. It’s engineered.

6. You don’t have to wait for your body to force the boundary. You can start it now.

7. Prioritize your whole self, not just your job.

8. Speed is a strategy. Trust is a process. … and omg I just realized I never pressed publish on this one!! Will be circling back.

9. If you are building something intentional, you should not be for everyone. And you cannot take it personally when you’re not.

10. Lean into the discomfort. Growth rarely feels comfortable…until it does.

11. Manifestation is confidence said out loud.

12. Stop. Breathe. Be.

13. Stop playing it safe.

14. Don’t do it perfectly, do it consistently.

15. Crawl. Walk. Run. Build the minimum viable version and start.

16. Curiosity will take you further than credentials ever will.

17. Action creates clarity.

18. Fake it till you make it.

19. If it matters, put it on your calendar.

20. Mornings set the tone.

21. Slowing down is strategic.

22. Big things are built in seasons. Honor the one you’re in.

23. Leverage your strengths daily.

24. Delegate or drown.

25. “Mom” is part of you, not all of you.

26. Quality will always matter more than quantity in friendships.

27. Marriage is a team sport.

28. Comparison keeps you consuming when you should be creating.

29. Joy must be protected, not postponed.

30. Master the reframe.

31. You are allowed to redefine success.

32. Closing the door that no longer serves you reveals doors you couldn’t see before.

33. The DM you’re afraid to send could change your life.

34. Be delusional. Dream bigger than feels reasonable.

35. Know your why and let it guide you.

36. Action is your North Star.

So I’ll be finishing out my birthday month strong, sharing the rest as I go. Progress over pressure. Consistency over perfection. Joy over self-imposed deadlines.

If you’re not following along yet, come hang with me on Instagram and add me to your Favorites (click on the Follow drop down) so you don’t miss the rest of the series.

My favorite things of the year

• Bags

  • Cuyana Tote in Mocha have in multiple colors and in the Tall version

  • Cuyana Dia Bag

  • Clare V. Grande Woven Leather Belt Bag also have in multiple colors

• Accessories

  • Aurem Black and Gold Belt the best belt brand hands down

  • Dorsey Riviere Diamond Necklace I get so many compliments

• Makeup

  • Jones Road Beauty Miracle Balm in Pinky Bronze

  • Jones Road Beauty Mascara thickening and lengthening

  • Laura Mercier Real Flawless Weightless Perfecting Serum Concealer I’ve tried so many concealers, this one stays and doesn’t cake

  • EADEM Le Chouchou Exfoliating + Softening Peptide Lip Balm

• Skincare

  • Caudalie Vinoperfect Serum trust me, and the dozen friends of mine who use it, it works

  • True Botanicals Chebula Multi-Corrective Eye Patches

  • Nuxe Dry Oil

  • 5 Sens Burn for You Perfume use code NEWMODERNMOM15 for 15% off

• Shoes

  • Cole Haan GrandPro Tennis 2.0 Sneaker I’ve tried all the “trendy” casual sneakers, these are my winners by far for five years

  • A.EMERY Sandals this brand is hands down my favorite sandals

  • Steve Madden Leni Flats have in multiple colors

• Clothing

  • POSSE Alice Linen Mini Dress my favorite summertime dress

  • Pistola Wes High Rise Barrel Jeans

  • Donnie Simple Linen Pant

  • Madewell The Darted Barrel-Leg Jean have in multiple colors

  • Lululemon Align Pants tried and true against all others

• Routine Staples

  • Omnilux Redlight Therapy Mask habit stack it with stretching before bed

  • Incline Walking Pad the incline is a real game-changer for benefits

  • STAKT Mat

  • The Sculpt Society use code NMM25 for 25% off first 2 months

  • Owala Free Sip Water Bottle

  • Cumulus Cold Brew Makeruse code NMM100 for $100 off

ICYMI

Chapter 1: The Burnout You Don’t See Coming

Lessons from 5 Years with 6 Au Pairs

Summer Abroad Camp List: Northern Italy Edition

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💬 Drop a comment and tell me your favorite lesson I shared!

❤️ And PLEASE give this post a little love below if you enjoyed this series.

Thanks for joining me on this journey,

Barbara

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