The first sign of burnout was not a breakdown.
It was my body.
From the outside, I looked exactly like someone who had it together.
I learned early that looking cool, calm and collected was part of the job. I got good at it. I’d say ‘no worries!’ when I was absolutely worried. I’d say yes to ownership beyond my capacity. I’d take on the emotional highs and lows of my team to keep them happy, motivated and successful.
I had the title, the team, the calendar full of meetings, the reputation for being the one who always delivered.
Inside, I was running on something that felt like adrenaline and pure will. I’d make lists just to feel in control. I’d over-prepare for meetings so no one could question me.
My body was sending subtle signs. I woke up tired even after sleeping (yes my kids definitely contributed). My patience got thinner. I felt like I was always on, always bracing, always one interruption away from snapping. I remember losing it over a box of cereal dumped on the carpet because I had zero buffer left… and reflecting back that my reaction was just as bad as my toddler’s when I peel the banana “wrong.”
I told myself it was a season. I told myself it was normal.
Every ambitious mom I knew looked like she was doing the same thing.
I kept lowering the bar for what I considered feeling ‘fine.’
Until in reality, I was far from fine. Very far.
If any part of you is thinking, ‘I’m fine, I’m just tired,’ I get it. But could that be a bigger signal?
A Full Life vs an Unsustainable One
Understanding burnout became important to me because it gave me a map.
It helped me stop treating my symptoms like a personal failure and start paying attention to what my body was trying to tell me. It was the first step toward what I now call The Fulfilled State.
And let me be clear: Working hard is not the problem. A 45-hour week might be intense, but it can be normal.
What isn’t normal is needing 60 to 80 hours to keep up.
What isn’t normal is feeling your chest tighten every time an email comes in.
What isn’t normal is living with a nervous system that never powers down.
99% of moms said they feel society puts pressure on women to ‘do it all and be it all’ in Peanut’s State of Invisibility Report. This is the root cause for many of us.
I’m not here to convince you to opt out of your ambition, or to sell you some fantasy version of “balance.”
I’m here to help you see the difference between a full life and an unsustainable one.
Today I’m going to share a simple diagnostic system for you:
a 2-minute self-assessment to set your baseline
the 5 Faces of Burnout based on Maslach Burnout Inventory
the early-warning signs before burnout becomes obvious
You’ll be able to recognize your pattern and take one small corrective move this week.
If you’re high-functioning and quietly struggling, this is going to feel uncomfortably accurate.
The Diagnosis That Changed My Outlook
But first I want to give you the real unfiltered story of how I hit my burnout breaking point.
In 2019, I got pregnant for the first time, then suffered a miscarriage at nine weeks. To say I was affected emotionally would be an understatement. And time would reveal the physical impact too.
But I only took two days off, then went right back to work. I told people I had the flu. I hated myself for lying. And I hated that lying felt safer than telling the truth.
Because I had my year’s biggest event coming up. Because I was already anxious about telling work I was pregnant.
A few weeks later, strange rashes appeared on my hands.
Then more symptoms. Months of testing, appointments, and uncertainty.
I kept thinking, please don’t let this be real, while also knowing something was already wrong.
I was finally diagnosed while pregnant with Caden with a rare autoimmune disease called….
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