It was picture day at school. We were five minutes late for line-up, again.
I was rushing Caden toward his classroom cubby, unzipping his backpack, hanging up his jacket. Then I remembered, it’s picture day. And his hair was a mess.
I crouched down and tried to fix it, muttering something like, “Let’s just fix this real quick.”
And then, pushing my hand away he said, “Not everything has to be perfect, Mama.”
Oof.
I didn’t have a response in the moment, just a pause in the rush. But he was right. So I let it go. I kissed him goodbye. I watched him walk into class, bedhead and all.
Last week, we got the picture back. He’s smiling and proud. Messy hair. And honestly, he looks perfect.
Becoming a mom has made me more confident in who I am than ever before. But it’s also made me examine the parts of myself I never really questioned until now. They say parenting is like holding up a mirror. And wow, do I feel seen.
I’ve always believed in excellence and effort. But I’m starting to realize how easily that slips into perfectionism in subtle ways that are less noticeable, but deeply impactful on others around me. It’s not just the pressure I put on myself, but the ways it shows up in how I speak, how I rush, how I correct. My kids notice. And they’re calling it out with more clarity than I’ve ever had for myself.
Usually I write these essays with a solution or a takeaway, but this time I don’t have one. Just perspective. Just honesty. Just a moment I want to reflect on before I forget.
On that note, I’ve decided to stop waiting for perfect conditions to release something I’ve been quietly working on behind the scenes. You know, the “one day” project that’s been living in my notes app for far too long.
That day is coming. And this time, I’m not going to wait for everything to be perfectly in place. More soon.
Currently
WEARING This brand new Dia bag from Cuyana. It’s no secret this is my favorite work bag brand, but I’m now obsessing over this non-work bag in Mocha. Large enough for snacks and a kids water bottle without giving major Mom tote vibes.
PACKING These mini magnetic tiles keep my kids busy for a weird amount of time, perfect for restaurant entertaining. They kept Willow engaged for over an hour while I set up for an event.
HOSTING Mama & Me Princess Morning in partnership with Hiya, the best kids’ vitamin brand (get 50% off your first order with code NMM50). Loved getting to meet this community IRL.
LISTENING Emma Grede’s Plan Your Life like a Business I smiled this entire episode. 1) Because I feel like the words came right out of my mouth 2) She talked about habit stacking and my entire Toolkit Series podcast released this week is on habit stacking.
EATING High protein chicken caesar wrap. We are eating this weekly now, it’s so easy and so filling. We use egg wraps & vegan caesar dressing from TJs.
Roam Collective Bookings Open Tuesday
ICYMI I’m co-creating a family summer abroad program called Roam Collective.
Two years ago, we joined an organized program called Boundless in Portugal. Last summer, we DIY’d it in France. Both experiences were magical, and both showed us what worked... and what didn’t.
So this year, I’m doing it differently, and I want you to join: 5 weeks in San Sebastián, Spain from June 27 to August 1, 2026. This isn’t a sabbatical or a vacation. It’s a new way to live for one unforgettable summer.
Booking opens Tuesday to the Waitlist with very limited spots. Sign up now to get info on camp, pricing, apartments and more, along with early access.
All The Things
Here’s a roundup of the most popular items you all have been shopping from my Substack, Instagram and website most recently!
Top 3 All Things Clothes, Shoes, and Bags
These high waist barrel jeans are the ones I reach for most days
These flats require zero break-in time (have in multiple colors)
The best date night bag - comes in multiple colors and is the perfect size and shape
Top 3 All Things Beauty and Skincare
My absolute favorite mascara. The tubing formula means no mascara smudging!
My favorite at-home gel nail polish to use when I’m in between Russian manicures
The best In-Shower Moisturizing Body Balm to fight dry skin this fall/winter
Top 3 All Things Baby and Maternity
These Maternity & Postpartum Leggings (they have pockets too!)
The most amazing travel diaper bag (The Getaway Bag) by No Reception Club (Get $20 off your purchase of The Getaway Bag with code: NEWMODERNMOM) and another amazing option for everyday
This nursing pillow is a way better shape that the Boppy (and both my kids now use theirs as their main sleeping pillows)
New Modern Mom Podcast Spotlight
TLDR, inside this episode:
🧠 What habit stacking is and the science behind why it works
💡 My go-to habit stacks that make life feel more aligned
🛠 A mini coaching exercise to help you build your own
🌿 Why stacking isn’t about doing more, it’s about becoming the person you want to be
📲 How to start with what you already do and build from there
If you can take 1 second, this will really help me…
❤️ Leave a little love below if you found this valuable
💬 Drop a comment to share something you are going to let go of this week. These comments are what I live for, I’d love to connect with you to hear your thoughts!
📤 Hit ‘Share’ to send this to your group chat
Thanks for joining me on this journey,
Barbara
P.S. This post contains affiliate links including the Amazon Associates Program, so I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work!